Who is a Loser

X and Y ended their 6-year marriage, the reason was that they couldn’t get along with each other after years of trying. Many commented they were losers.

I thought it was weird that a successful marriage had to be long lasting. Just like I often suggested readers to find a gf/bf during college. Many readers thought relationships in college often didn’t work out.

But why do they have to “work out”?

How does life even “work out”? In the end everyone just becomes dirt.

Thus: Don’t use the duration to judge a relationship/marriage; don’t use the result to judge a person. Because everyone inevitably has the same ending.

If you think you gave up so much for a relationship but got nothing in return. Things like that happen all the time.

Even if you get what you wanted, then you will desire even more.

Food -> clothes -> house -> wife -> horses -> servants -> influence -> …

There was a documentary that interviewed a retired captain pilot and a retired taxi driver.

They both started off as pilots. But one of them moved back to his hometown Shanghai then became the taxi driver. Back then taxi drivers made lots of money. All the pretty flight attendants were looking for a taxi driver to get married with… But then the industry quickly got oversaturated…

He had an airplane model on his car. During the interview, he lamented maybe it was better to continue to be a pilot. When the taxi driver retired and looked back, he felt very disappointed.

On the other hand, the pilot who followed through later became captain pilot for decades before he retired. However, the captain pilot was also disappointed as well.

He married a flight attendant. His son later became captain pilot, also married a flight attendant.

Although being a pilot captain can make 1m RMB per year but he spent most of his time on the plane, it also meant he didn’t have much time with his wife and children.

You can choose certain things in life, but you don’t have complete control of how it unfolds.

There was also Artist Qi, borned in 1864 in a poor rural village. Because he was too weak to do field work, his family sent him to learn carpentry. Because he wanted to make more money, he learnt to carve flows and humans.

To learn carving more complex things, he picked up painting. But then he found painting making even more money than carpentry then he got more involved honing his painting skills.

At the age of 30, he was recognized by the local rich businessmen. They sponsored all his living expenses for 10 years and even hired people to teach him to read poetry.

At this point he was already super well-off at the age of 40. But later he was invited to teach a high-ranked official’s wife painting, then met more influential people.

Then because of the political chaos, he had to move to Beijing. Then he was recognized by one of the master painters, then became well-known among the Beijing high-class circle.

His story didn’t end yet. He met another Mao, …, then became the legendary painter.

You made certain choices in life but you don’t get too much control of what happened after.

You are standing at the bridge looking at someone in the building; the person in the building can also be looking at you.