Kindergarten
by 碧树西风
Introduction
Another hot news about Alibaba. A p8 employee(TC 300k-400k usb), phd from a Chinese elite university, hired an assistant for 16k rmb per month.
The girl wanted to become an official Alibaba employee, but the guy asked the girl if she can work for him “only”, to be his “personal life” assistant.
Later the guy even promised he could influence HR to hire her, and was willing to pay her an extra 16k rmb for the “personal life assistant” position.
But later his chat history was exposed.
Many people criticized him for the following: Although he is single, paying for a “personal life assistant” is still not morally accepted by society. He said that he could interfere with HR to hire the girl, this was unfair to other applicants.
For point one, most of the cultures set the moral standard that couples should stay with each other until they die. They have been saying that for a few thousand years but most of the couples just didn’t turn out that way.
For point two, it is also not uncommon for a person to use his power for personal benefits. There are and there will be always people like that. To manage this situation you probably have to invest enough on Integrity propaganda.
Suggestion
Here I want to give the readers a piece of advice:
If possible, try to get into a relationship during college.
If you have enough worldly knowledge and analyze the data, you would understand this is indeed good advice. Because of the following two reasons:
1.Rarely you can find “pure love” once you step into society. Your mindsets are different. When you are in college, you don’t have to think about your finances; when you start working, you have to worry about supporting yourself financially.
People’s emotions are more realistic when they don’t put money into consideration.
Let me give you an example:
How do you know you love your job? Imagine you have 10x of your salary as passive income, are you still willing to do the same job every day you wake up?
During college, most people enjoy the passive income from their parents, so they have spare time for relationships. They often haven’t started worrying about the pressure from the future yet, especially during freshman and sophomore years.
- When you get married, you have to be aware that the divorce rate is 44% in 2019. It is even higher for younger couples. In other words, you can expect to get divorce once in your life.
For a long lasting marriage to work, couples have to at least pass these three barriers: Exposing all the negatives to your spouse: your weaknesses and flaws, your different values and interests, your different life habits and friend circles… Sometimes people grow, they grow apart. As time goes by, some people move forward, some people move backward, some people stay stagnated. In time, people’s distance will increase if two people are moving apart, that may hurt the relationship. When kids go to college and become more independent. The house is left with two people again. They don’t have to stay together for the kids any more.
If a couple manages to pass all three barriers, what is left is not necessarily “true love.” Most of the time people just get used to things and the cost of a divorce is too high.
求抱抱
If you can understand the previous two points, it is not difficult to understand the Alibaba P8 employee’s dilemma.
Everyone has his or her own emotional needs, especially in a rapidly developing society.
This blog receives lots of comments every day, and most of they can be summarized with three words:
求抱抱 (give me a hug please)
The big city life is colorful, but you often don’t see clearly who really cares about you.
Your boss’s “well done, good job” doesn’t mean he treats you as a friend. It probably means you are a good employee. If you are not doing your work properly, his attitude may change, your colleague’s attitude may change as well.
If you lose your job, your wife’s attitude will probably change as well.
Even when you are a child, you may wonder, “if I don’t have good grades, would my mom still love me?”
To grow means you have less people to depend on, at the same time more people are depending on you.
When you have more pressure on you, and more things didn’t go the way you expect, those negative emotions bottle up. The feeling that “nobody understands me, nobody loves me, nobody cares about me” can become really strong under those circumstances.
If you talk to others about it, you often see two situations: .People respond, “I understand you, I love you, I care about you.” They essentially just want to get some benefits from you. .if people tell, “I don’t understand you, I don’t even want to understand you.” You probably don’t like that either.
But you really need a “hug”, even if that “hug” is a paid service. Sometimes people just need some warmth even if that is somewhat fake.
If the Alibaba P8 was a bad person, he instead thought of stealing 16k every month instead of paying someone else 16k. Those 16k is nevertheless his hard-earned money.
cost of a relationship
Some people may ask, why can’t he just f*ing find a girlfriend?
I told you before, society is not school, the cost of being in a relationship was too high. If you didn’t experience “pure love” during college, you probably will never experience it anymore.
Once you start working, you will slowly calculate the value of your time, especially when your income is high.
And being a relationship will cost the P8 lots of time: Thinking about her feelings and needs, Shopping with her, eating out with her…
Will all those time investments, those emotions spawn by “love” will probably eventually get washed away in marriage.
Even in the short run, his girlfriend may not return a similar amount of love and effort.
Ending
In the business world, where there is demand, there is supply to satisfy the demand.
If you are rich and feel lonely, maybe you will make the same mistake the Ali P8 made.
If you are poor, you can turn on Twitch.com
You don’t need 16k rmb, with $5, streamers can understand you, love you and care about you.
It is unrealistic to hope that most people will become strong enough, strong enough that they can be happy without people loving them.
Most people are ordinary, fragile beings.
花有重开日,人无再少年 (Flowers wither but they will flourish again, but your youth will never come back.)
Regardless how happy you are when you get older, at least you have experienced “pure love” at the right times. This can leave you some good memories for you later in life.
At least when you were young, you had your carefree times, you had your sweet times.