How to be an effective person
A read asked me, “how can a guy change his fate?
I think a person has a good chance to change his fate if he CAN do the following.
Accept the reality as it is
It is much easier said than done. It is a cliche that you know I know, but very difficult for anyone to do it day after day year after year.
In my observation, women often have a much higher chance of being able to accept reality as it is.
In terms of conventional success, guys tend to split into both sides of the bell curve, relative to women. While lots of women tend to be in the middle.
Why is point 1 extremely important?
Because what you want is success in the real world, aka conventional success.
If you want to win in the virtual world, become a god in a game, then just disregard what I said.
I was addicted to games in my undergraduate times. I was the top1 richest man in the school’s Diablo2 server; I owned most of the best gears; and most importantly, I had a box of “ears.”
In diablo2, when you soloed another player, you can loot their “ear.” I had half of the top50 players’ “ear” because I traded them top gears. Because I used to chase after success in the virtual world.
But if you want to chase after success in the real world, first you have to accept the real world as it is.
Lots of guys think girls are reserved, and are so far away. But in reality girls often have a good understanding of their charm. Unlike most men, they won’t mysteriously believe they were so beautiful that all guys would fall for them.
Some people may argue they know the reality but they don’t.
Let me give you an example,
If you appear to be the strongest in the team, and there is an opportunity for a promotion / raise, you may think you have that secured. But really?
A person’s(stock) value doesn’t depend on what he has done, but what he can do in the future .
From your perspective, promotion or raise is a reward for your past effort.
But from your boss’s perspective, past effort doesn’t deserve reward, expectation deserves reward. Promoting you is more likely that he believes you can benefit him even more with the promotion / salary.
This is called accepting the reality. Lots of women understand this better than guys.
Women may say, “I married you when you were not as prosperous, helped you through your hardest time, you should treat me well and be faithful to me.”
But at the same time, many of them would still proactively keep up with their appearance maintenance, to keep their husbands from the younger women.
But lots of men have some mysterious confidence with little or no foundation.
A 10-year goal takes 10 years to finish
Another cliche that is difficult to implement.
For instance, whenever house prices spike, lots of readers ask about buying houses; when stocks spike, lots of readers ask about buying stocks…
When a market becomes bear, nobody asks about it.
I once joked with my editor,
Since you collect all the comments every day, When nobody asks about the stock market, you should gradually buy in the top company stocks per industry. Then sell gradually whenever readers ask about it. … 10 years in you will make a decent living off that.
This is a simple strategy but most people simply lose money in the market.
It is hard for anyone to have such self-discipline. But when a man can withstand temptation and loneliness, it is hard for him not to stand out.
Because focus applies to every industry. If you are 10% more focused every hour. After 10 years, you will compound your gains.
When you are young, 110% focus can probably get you into a good college; 110% focus can probably get you into management.
Just like the swimming games, you lose all the prize money even if you are only 0.01 slower than the champion. While everyone dreams of winning the prize, few can force himself to focus just a little bit more every hour.
You will doubt yourself everyday, is it worth the effort, is there going to be reward, how long do I have to keep doing this, how long, how long, how long…then you give up, just like everybody else.