Life is Difficult

by 碧树西风 translated by Shicheng

You shouldn’t watch <Begin, Again>. This is the first movie that I don’t recommend.

I don’t really know what the movie is about. But I sort of understand what the screenwriter was thinking. His target audience was the people who moved away from their hometown to work in other cities. So he tried to make the plot resonate with those people’s hardships.

First, the main character Bai is not poor, or she is tight on money for a reason. She wears an expensive purse, drives a car, pays a mortgage in Qingdao (another city) while renting a 2b-1living-room in Beijing. No wonder why she doesn’t have enough money. Most of the people in the world live like that won’t have enough money, unless they have extremely high-paying jobs like software engineers in Google.

Secondly, Bai is stuck on her career for 10 years. She is 32 now. It is very common to be stuck for 10 years. Let’s imagine what it is like for a career that doesn’t stuck.

Let me use an example like Japan. I use Japan because Japan is a developed country, I want to let you know what to expect when China actually becomes a developed country.

First, lots of fresh graduates in Japan are not that easy to find jobs. Once they find a job, they tend to work in the company for years. So it is easier to see one’s career trajectory. If a 22-year-old Japanese college graduate can become the manager at 32, he is considered extraordinary. But if 10 college graduates get into the same company at the same time, only one person can make it to the manager 10 years later, then the other 9 will be stuck, just like Bai.

Also Japan has way more older people in the population. If the older people are all expected to be managers, who is going to be the staff. In other words, 90% of the people will get stuck in the first 10 years of their career. To make sure everyone becomes manager in 10 years, each generation has to produce 10x population, which is absurd for any population.

Thirdly, Bai’s relationship went horribly. She had been with a guy for quite a few years. But he didn’t treat her well, didn’t shop with her, didn’t answer her calls, even cheated on her. In the end he married another woman.

This actually sounded ridiculous to me. Because how can’t she notice he didn’t love her the whole time! She was ignoring all the details until he married someone, then finally she accepted that they broke up.

If her plan was to be with him and not to get married, then she doesn’t have to worry if he marries anyone. Just enjoy the time spent together. But if she starts the relationship with the goal of getting married, then she had to have (a) stop-loss point(s), (b) ceritera(s) to end the relationship if it is not progressing toward the desired direction enough.

If he doesn’t marry you, how long are you willing to wait? Or if he doesn’t show any signs of loving you, why even wait in the first place?

The fourth problem Bai faced was her mom’s illness. Some people say nowadays people often get sick bc the environment is bad. In the old times people didn’t get sick bc the air was good, the water was good and etc. I think people from the past didn’t get sick as much because they died way earlier. Even if they didn’t die from warfare, most of them died naturally in their 40, 50s.

While one of the highest causes of death nowadays is cancer. And the probability of getting cancer goes up linearly with age. In other words, you can always expect people to get sick when they get older.

#### In the end, how does the screenwriter solve Bai’s problems? Bai found a new housemate, a 22-year-old copy of herself. Then she suddenly believed that if she worked hard she could solve all the problems.

That is why I chose a science degree rather than a liberal arts degree, although at the time my literal arts grades were higher. I couldn’t stand how liberal arts people solve problems.

With the same problems, I analyzed consuming power, population ratio, cutting losses, and forecasting. But the literal-arts people just answered everything with phrases like “be true to yourself”, “you can do it.”

Lots of famous writers reviewed the same movie as well. They talked about their similar difficult experiences when they were young. They failed so many things. But they stayed true to themselves and kept working hard. Eventually they became writers that console the masses. Those words sound very touching but make no logical sense.

Unlike them, I don’t have the “chicken soup” that warms your heart.

Do you know what is the most difficult thing in life? It Is that you underestimate the difficulty in life.

I don’t know how to make 90% of the people become managers. But I am sure that 90% of the people won’t even think of this question. Rarely anyone would think about the problems they will encounter in 10 years, 20 years.

People only realize they are poor when they get sick; they will realize they don’t have a house when their kids have to go to school. If you thought of those, you are probably better than 90% of the people in the world.

What do you want to be in 10 years? Manager? What do you need to become a manager? What if you don’t hit your timelines? What is your second, or third plan?

If you have decent plans for your spending, investing, career, relationships, etc, you are already way ahead of anyone on this earth. A decent plan includes goals, stages, methodologies, ways to cut off sink losses, plan-Bs.

To solve 90% of people’s problems is not to let yourself be that 90%. You have to manage yourself like how a tech company is managed, setting roadmaps and reviewing them constantly. Otherwise you will end up like Bai.

Most of the time, people in difficult situations don’t need crying or hot towels, not even kind consolation. The tear now is the water that got into the head 10 years ago. If you don’t squeeze out all the water in your head now, you will cry 10 years later.