The Other Side of Confusion
Introduction
Most of our readers are adults, that is why most of this channel’s content is targeted for mature audiences.
Today I am going to make an example, answering some of the younger reader’s questions.
Many young readers are either highschoolers and undergraduates. They don’t fully understand the content; some post their life stories and confusion, wishing I could give them some directions.
They generally face three types of problems: 1.family changes For instance, someone used to be rich, but then his/her dad yolo most of the money; or some uncontrollable disaster happened. Thus they were exposed to the cruelty of adult society much earlier.
2.relationship changes This can be summarized in one line: “I like you, but you don’t like me.”
3.being mature early Those children realize the outside world seems to be much more unfair than school: some people are way way ahead at the start… So they start worrying about their futures.
In summary, the young readers are confused.
Other Side of Confusion
Imo, the other side of confusion is desire, you can only be confused when you have desire. You hope I could help you with your confusion because you think I am not confused.
But what is the other side of no confusion?
No desire.
It is like playing chess. At the start of the game, you are overwhelmed about how to approach this game. While I am already at the endgame, that is why I am not confused anymore.
Most of the highschoolers or undergraduates haven’t really “played chess” before, but you guys likely played “total war: three kingdoms” or similar strategies games before.
You often start off with one city, a few generals. You can do lots of things: Stealing other generals, stockpiles food and soldiers , Backstabbing other lords
In mid-stage, you can make alliances and eliminate your enemies one by one. But when you get to the late game, it is just rinse and repeat of a single strategy.
If you are strong enough, you push in; otherwise you just try to survive till your enemies make mistakes or crumbles on their own.
Then maybe you will realize the game’s ending is not as important, because everyone has the same ending: uninstalling the game. Just like in real life everyone will die eventually.
Therefore the most important thing is if you are happy playing this game or not. And your possibilities determine if you are happy or not. From this perspective, it is good to be young.
Let me give you another metaphor, who do you think will be happier? 1.A person who has not started a single Marvel movie 2.A person who already finished all Marvel movies
At least the first person has something enjoyable to look forward to.
Possibilities are better than certainty, even though you may not understand it at such a young age.
You feel so much pain because a girl rejected you. Maybe I meet all the hard criterias she was looking for.
Does that make me happier than you? Not necessarily.
Because I am old enough not to fall in love with the girl any more.
You may get so excited over a butterfly/toy when you were a teen, but are you still excited for those things now?
Time will give you lots of things, but it will take away more.
You won’t have anywhere special you want to go; you won’t have any special food you want to try; or you won’t have a particular person you want to be with.
Your sensitivity will decay over time.
One day you will be in your wheelchair, looking at the cloud expands and shrinks, looking at flowers flourish and wither. Then you will understand, what do you truly own？
Power? Wealth? Wisdom? Or Charm?
All you have left is memory.
Uncertainty
You can only enjoy life when you have desire. But when you have desire, you will be confused. And the essence of confusion is uncertainty.
People’s happiness is always from unexpected gains.
If one day your dad suddenly told you that your family is rich.
You will be very happy, but is it really because of the money? No, it is because of the unexpected gain.
It is hard to feel happiness from things within expectations. For instance, you will never be happy that you are born with two whole legs.
But a cripple would be so happy if he can get his broken leg back.
Thus the rich-second-gen may not be as happy as you would imagine, because money for him/her is just like your legs, there is nothing to be surprised about.
On the contrary, it would be so painful if you lose what you take for granted. Just like the young readers who lost their family’s wealth.
Both happiness and pain come from uncertainty, they are just two sides of the same coin.
When you no longer feel pain, you also no longer feel happiness; when you truly control certainty, you lose so much pleasure in life.
Nevertheless life is always full of uncertainty. That is why Xueqin Cao wrote a song called “Hating Uncertainty” in his novel Dream of the Red Chamber.
Xueqin was born in one of the richest families in the Qing Dynasty, but the government confiscated all his family’s wealth when he was 13. Later in life, Xueqin spent years writing Dream of the Red Chamber, which mirrored the rise and fall of Cao’s family. It was arguably the best Chinese novel of all times.
For people who have suffered from misfortune, my only suggestion is to understand life is full of uncertainty. It is a sign of wisdom when someone starts to accept different changes in life.
Maybe a few decades later, you will eventually realize wealth is not as important as you originally thought, while wisdom can greatly influence how you experience life.
When you look back, Xueqin who wrote Dream of the Red Chamber has a much more fulfilled life than a rich-second-gen who did nothing.